What is the message behind this poem?
The pig by roald dahl
In England once there lived a big
A wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, “By gum, I’ve got the answer!”
“They want my bacon slice by slice
“To sell at a tremendous price!
“They want my tender juicy chops
“To put in all the butcher’s shops!
“They want my pork to make a roast
“And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
“They want my sausages in strings!
“They even want my chitterlings!
“The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
“That is the reason for my life!”
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great peace of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
“I had a fairly powerful hunch
“That he might have me for his lunch.
“And so, because I feared the worst,
“I thought I’d better eat him first.”

Technorati Tags: airplane fly, bacon, ballet dancer, butcher, carving knife, chitterlings, great peace, gum, hunch, little smile, massive brain, next morning, one question, peace of mind, pig, remorse, roald dahl, roar, sausages, wondrous night

A farmer had a house full of 200 hens, but no rooster. So he goes to the breeder, who tells him, "I have one rooster, but he’s expensive. His name is Randy and he understands your words and sometimes even talks, and he’s also incredibly horny and I guarantee he will service every hen you have and you’ll never need another rooster." The farmer thinks a moment, and decides to buy Randy.

He takes the rooster home and tells him, "Now Randy, I have 200 hens in there, but I need you to do a good job. So pace yourself, but have fun." Randy seems to understand, so the farmer sets him down.

Immediately the rooster careens toward the henhouse and services every single hen in the house. But he doesn’t stop there. He jumps the fence to the pigpen and starts going at it with the pigs. Then he goes into the cow field and starts in with the cows. He does this with every single animal on the farm, so much that the farmer is worried his rooster might not last the day.

Sure enough, next morning the farmer gets up and finds Randy in the yard, dead as a doornail, with vultures circling over his body. The farmer, annoyed, goes up to the body and says, "Oh Randy…I TOLD you to pace yourself, and now you’ve truly bought the farm."

At which point Randy opens his eyes and tells the farmer, "Shhh, those vultures up there, they’re getting closer…"

Technorati Tags: careens, cow field, cows, dead as a doornail, fence, good job, henhouse, hens, next morning, pace, pigpen, pigs, rooster, vultures

Three men are traveling and need a place to sleep. They stop at a farm and ask the owner if they can spend the night. The farmers says okay, but one has to sleep with the pigs, one has to sleep with the cows and the other has to sleep in a room with his 18 daughters.

The next morning…
1st Man- "I feel like a pig, I slept with pigs all night"
2nd Man- "I feel like a cow, I slept with cows all night"
3rd Man- "I feel like a golf course. I’ve been in and out of 18 holes all night"

Technorati Tags: cow, cows, farmers, golf course, holes, next morning, pig, pigs, sleep, three men

- The wind is faster than your truck.

- Every other vehicle is a 4×4.

- When the sun goes down you start looking for your coat.

- In March, your vehicle is 43% mud.

- You leave your keys in the car and the next morning it’s still there.

- You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.

- You hear the words "stream" or "brook" pronounced "crick."

- The elevation exceeds the population.

- You’ve broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.

- You can see the stars at night.

- People drive 200 miles to shop in a real mall.

- Your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.

- You got a set of snow tires for Valentines Day.

- The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.

- Your back yard smells like sagebrush or various animals.

- A girls’ basketball game fills the gym.

- You slept through the night unawakened by a siren.

- A rodeo is more popular than a rock concert.

- You can fish, golf, and go skiing all in the same day if you try hard enough.

- Yellow light means "follow the car in front of you no matter what."

- Democrats are like salmon, they are on the endangered species list.

- You wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.

- You talk about a combine and people don’t wonder what you are putting together.

- In the spring, every tenth car you pass is a tractor.

- When the car in front of you is weaving you suspect a farmer instead of a drunk.

- Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicle’s "jocky box."

- You can choose plastic bags or paper sacks for your groceries.

- You have to wait for a flock of sheep to pass you on the road.

- You know why people pay money to watch "pig wrestling."

Post some jokes! =^_^=

Technorati Tags: back yard, basketball game, crick, endangered species list, flock of sheep, freeway, girls basketball, great grandmother, groceries, jocky, leatherman tool, new computer, next morning, paper sacks, plastic bags, sagebrush, siren, snow tires, stars at night, sun goes down

There once was a farmer who needed his pigs to mate. So he went to the closest vet and told him his problem. The farmer was confused by all the big words the vet was useing, so he just nodded his head like he understood. The next morning the farmer had gotten an idea. He took all his pigs and loaded them up in his truck and took them to an open field where he had sex with them all. The next morning, as soon as the farmer woke up, he ran to the window to see if his pigs were mating. But unfortunatly they weren’t. So the farmer tried again that day. He loaded them up in the truck, took them to the same field and had sex with them all. The farmer woke up in bed the next morning and asked his wife if the pigs were mating. As the wife looked out the window, she replied "No, they’re all in the truck and one of’em is honking the horn!"
give star if u like plz :p

Technorati Tags: next morning, pigs, vet

In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn’t read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn’t puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I’ve got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher’s shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that’s the part’ll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher’s shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let’s not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I’d better eat him first."

Roald Dahl
using examples from the text to help me support my analysis of this poem between the conflicts of survival of the fittest + meaning of life
this poem is polysemus (srry if spelled incorrectly)

Technorati Tags: airplane fly, bacon, ballet dancer, butcher, carving knife, chitterlings, gum, hunch, life quot, little smile, massive brain, next morning, one question, piece of mind, pig, remorse, roald dahl, roar, sausages, wondrous night

Horny Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster – one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I’m counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you’ll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."

"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."

Technorati Tags: buzzard, disbelief, farm animal, feathers, frantic pace, hen house, hens, horniest rooster, horses, legs, long tongue, market vendor, next morning, pep talk, pig, shhhhh, thunderbolt

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster – one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I’m counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you’ll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."

"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."

Technorati Tags: buzzard, disbelief, farm animal, feathers, frantic pace, hen house, hens, horniest rooster, horses, legs, long tongue, market vendor, next morning, pep talk, pig, shhhhh, thunderbolt

This is my best pet story…please star if you like it. Thx.

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster and told this to the market vendor.

The vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. This here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer bought the rooster and took him back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave the rooster a little pep talk: he said, "I’m counting on you to do your stuff." And with that, the rooster strutted into the hen house.

The rooster was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till the rooster had finished having his way with each hen. But, the rooster didn’t stop there.

The rooster went into the barn and mounted all of the horses, one by one, and still at the same frantic pace.

Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief cried out, "Stop, you crazy rooster! You’ll kill yourself!" But the rooster continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw the rooster lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A couple of buzzards were already circling above the rooster.

The farmer walked up to the rooster saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy."

"Shhhhhhh," the rooster whispered, "The buzzards are getting closer."

Technorati Tags: disbelief, farm animal, feathers, frantic pace, hen house, hens, horniest rooster, horses, legs, long tongue, market vendor, next morning, pep talk, pet story, pig, thunderbolt

Horny Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster – one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I’m counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you’ll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."

"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."

Technorati Tags: buzzard, disbelief, farm animal, feathers, frantic pace, hen house, hens, horniest rooster, horses, legs, long tongue, market vendor, next morning, pep talk, pig, shhhhh, thunderbolt